aqumada

1 - I was very sympathetic reading this but I lost all sympathy when she mentioned how her nose used to connect to the cement floor. It is at that point I said “echi yehabtam lij, demo yesiminto bet eyenorech new yemetamarirew”, of course, thinking about how my own nose used to dig the mud flooring of our palace. Se, if you are not afraid of people saying “eswa eko wefef yaregatal”, abeshaness stops when you say “that is enough.” Your parents will only disown you for a week or so. I should know, I am very experienced. My dad should be calling any minute now. He hasn’t called me since the last time I greeted him with “what up ma nigga?!” (Comment this)

2 - I understand what your point is, but I have to say the generation and culture that immigrant parent come from is very different. Anything western might not be considered good or as you said (abesha)...so their actions are not without basis...

About defining the line THIS SHOULE APPLY IF YOU ARE ATLEAST 18...I would rather have it as zig zag as possible...no need to draw lines...haha Lines lead to wars....you can define the zig zag thou....and yea I don't think it is hard to live with a zig zag when you are responsible for your actions...as long as you won't be calling home asking for a ride wearing those outfits that your parents dislike everything is ok..

Other than that I don't have a problem with bending till you reach the cement.....I don't see that being that hard to do as long as you are flexiable...well wegesha, the mud doesn't smell that bad...does it? last time I checked it didn't....I have a problem with the end of your comment.....if you pay rend and bills...i don't think you would be forced to go and sit in church for 5 hours.....religion is whole another huge story...weather immigrant or not...some parents insist what they belive in...some don't.....

drink, smoke, curse ...those are not acceptable by parents .....not abesha parents...parents period....that is why folks don't live at home and clean their places and act right when their parents are about to visit...

hope I made sense...

uhm!...I took shall not be chebrara when I go home...that is how my zig zag goes along with some other additives...

haha (Comment this)

3 - Hmmmm, it becomes even more difficult to define who you are if you are not a full-blooded Abesha. In my heart I am 90% Abesha, but where I draw the line is quite a rigid, distinct area where the other half of my blood comes into force and makes me look like I feel/act more than 10% "fereng". People back home do not see you as a full Abesha even if you kiss the dirt for all and sundry, go to church every St. Whoever day and don't wear skirts at leat 4x a week- it's just that tiny bit of lighter skin that sets you up for a bad identity crisis for life. (Comment this)

4 - Wegesha... ayzon wendeme. Cheka, afer, siminto, tawla.... same bekolo...

Chebrarawa... of course no parent would like for you to drink, smoke or curse. But drinking (not to the point of intoxication), smoking (karegshew beka regshew newe) and simply uttering the work shit alone is something they get worked up over. The other day it slipped and I said what the f%%k are you doing to some idiot driver on the road and I will tell you my mother had a fit in the car. "Besemeab--- cherash ende tekrochu newe metesadebiw. Begziabher don't use the F-word again minamin!"

Becha... its always a struggle to please everyone and create a reasonable balance in culture and independence. And like Wegesha said... kurfiyaw or disowniing you won't last too long. Although the "maguremrem" about the things you do wrong lasts forever! (Comment this)

5 - Culture evolves and it is extremely difficult to define what “an abesha way/culture/custom” is at a specific moment in time. As you stated in your writing, not everything changes but some things do change. Does not following everything our fathers/mothers followed make us sellouts? I am not sure. Our ways are the “abesha ways” of today… (Comment this)

6 - So true Yekolotemari. For example my father didn't like the bowing till your "nose touched the floor or kissing knees tradition so we never had to do it growing up. He thought it was too subservient. So we were taught to be respectful but not submissive. So customs and traditions change. I don't go to church and my mother doesn't even ask me why I don't go to church any more (she just prays extra hard for me.) So if hell does exist hopefully my a** is covered. (Comment this)