Guys, Brag Modestly
By Wegesha
Lie or no lie, I’m still destined to go to hell. It’s a disgrace to note the number of Luciferian temptations I had avoided and yet succumb to his famous premarital-sex bait. As they say “misery loves company” and I am elated to be in the company of such a great person as you. It’s too late to start your penance now. Just hope you get stuck next to me in purgatory. Like the once infamous president I will defend myself (and possibly you) on the grounds of semantics questioning what “sex” really entails.
What sex entails to each gender is quite different. Hoping women will speak on their own behalf I will venture off to the guys’ take on sex which is seldom about the intercourse and a lot about the conquest and the right to brag; neither of which we do well.
Our miserable failure at conquest is self evident at every bar, night club or any other venue that customarily provides ample opportunity for a hook-up. A friend once gave me a baseball analogy that should suffice here. He said “no matter how poor your batting average is, after 200 tries, you are bound to hit a home run” and so we move on, sheepishly from strike one to strike two and to the next strikeout until we finally come across the one chick who is not automatically turned off by our lame opening line of “Enante bet laam alech?”
The bragging, on the other hand is more boisterous and menacingly irritating to women. The feminists will always be quick to respond by putting you down while the others (women not yet indoctrinated) will take it with a smirk and leave it at that. There is no limit to the different versions of the same joke you will hear. “Oh, you will understand my problem if you only had a third leg to deal with like mine” says one as he takes the entire space that would seat two at a crowded table. “You know how I make mine 12 inches long?” asks another without giving anyone a chance to answer his question. “I fold it in half.” These bravados are endless albeit benign.
The more insidious ones are those that lead innocent folks (myself included during the pimple-harvesting teenage years) astray, rob them of their confidence and expose them to a world of shame they will harbor until they see the light. How naïve must I have been? And more importantly, who would have guessed one would need a good understanding of physiology to brag without making a fool of oneself?
For the rest of the article, click on READ MORE
In those years of transition from a boy to a man (marked, as we believed then, by having gotten laid), we (the late bloomers) sat around the self-claimed stallions and listened intently and with admiration as they bragged non-stop about how they maintained their erection all night during their lurid sexual escapade with the neighbor’s daughter. For those of us who had embarked on the frustrating path of puberty just a few years earlier it made perfect sense. After all, we went to bed with a boner and woke up with one in the morning, thus the ability to maintain an erection all night long was a fact not to be questioned. Then came that dreadful day of discovery when I went from zero to orgasm in 2 minutes flat and then flaccid for the next hour. Gradual improvements in the 2 minute mark were no consolation for the unattainable 4 hour erection I had grown up hearing. So, while other guys went on bragging about their staying power I shamefully hid myself in the corner.
Imagine my chagrin, years later, when I found out sustained erection to be a medical emergency requiring prompt attention in order to save the penis; a condition called priapism. The explanation is very simple. Erection is nothing more than blood engorging the sponge like compartment of the penis making it turgid. To lose the erection the blood needs to be drained via the veins of the penis. The veins become stretched and constricted when the penis fills with blood. This retards drainage and thereby maintaining erection. But the penis, like anything else in the body, is a living thing and needs constant supply of oxygen and nutrients which are carried by blood and hence the need for fresh blood to engorge the penis in a timely manner. Otherwise you lose the penis.
I still hear guys bragging about their usual sex marathons of 6 hours. Instead of feeling ashamed now, I ask “Was the 9-1-1 operator nice?” for I know if you really had an erection that long your braggin’ ass must have visited the emergency room as well.
Until next time we discuss the condition called vaginisms,
Signing off
Wegesha
(Comment this)
don't even trip about Queen-Bee. ladies, priapism is a nasty thing. Priapism keeps men sitting down longer than they want to b/ca they don't want to stab nobody. Priapism is would make a crowded train ride during rush hour really uncomfortable. On top of that, it chokes off the oxygen to Mini-Mekonnen. . . oh hell no!
According to Seta-set, since I have enough nectar for 120 . . . seconds that means I am evolutionarily advanced! (Comment this)
(Comment this)