By Wegesha
Human interactions are full of superficial pleasantries. Every morning I show up to work I say “good morning” to a bunch of people on my way to my laboratory but don’t even pause for a second to hear their responses. Every time I meet new people, I say “nice to meet you” but most times I am indifferent about meeting them. If I am requesting anything from another person, even if I am paying for it, I say “please” even though I feel fully entitled to what I am about to receive. Our everyday life is brimming with such pleasantries, we have no clue what other people really think of us and we hardly give ourselves a chance to get to know others. This ignorance keeps us sane. Once in a great while you accidentally find out what others think of you and it challenges your own perception of self.
A case or two in point:
#1) when I came to New York to attend medical school 5 years ago there was another abesha guy at the same institution 3 years my senior. Being the sociable guy he is, it seemed like half of New York knew who he was. Interestingly, when he finished med school and folks got invitations to his graduation, they all asked “when was this guy ever in med school?” The guy partied every weekend for 4 years with the rest of New York and never once played into the image of the nerdy med student, they thought he was just wasting his life away.
#2) recently, at a bar where they had live African music, I run into a few abesha acquaintances who invited me to join them for drinks. I politely declined by telling them I didn’t drink and proceeded towards the stage. Before I had even cleared two feet I heard “I DON’T DRINK! Who is he bullshittin’? When have you ever seen this guy sober? Ha, Ha, Ha…”
A good friend of mine who had gone back to Ethiopia for a couple of months called me up when she returned to the U.S to let me know she had a book for me. I hadn’t asked for any books from Ethiopia or anywhere else but I was not surprised in the least bit because the friend in question is a woman and as a woman she cares for other people besides herself. Before she sent me the book she said “as I was reading this book I was thinking how much you would enjoy it.” I finally read the book and was compelled to put excerpts from it below because…… well, more on that later. Let me just say it is not for the faint hearted so if you are, stop here and if you are not, you have to fill in the blanks as I don’t think it is appropriate to spell out everything on such a forum. It is enough to say these are actual conversations between prostitutes of Kasanchis (the red-light district of Addis) the author (who also happens to be a journalist) has documented after befriending some of them.
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