aqumada

By Choma

      I am back in Ethiopia after 11 years. Yes! Right now, I am holed up in a Bole coffee shop but I am sick. When I first visited Ethiopia I was overwhelmed by the poverty but inspired by the number of faces that looked like me in all the shops. I had been to Zimbabwe and Malawi in 1990 when both countries' economic status was considerably better then. In all the fancy restaurants, we were the only non-whites at the tables. I wondered if we offered the staff there any additional pride. Now, sipping on a Lime with Ginger Drink and sitting in the Lime Tree, the casual restaurant above the Boston Day Spa on Bole Road, I find myself staring at all the white faces. 

      In a country which had become so introverted after military setbacks, Ethiopia has developed many strangely unique customs and viewpoints. We shun public displays of affection but are notoriously promiscuous. Many of us live in abject poverty but demonstrate tremendous-even reckless--generosity towards others. Ahhh, but most importantly, we all have Abesha pride.

      What is Abesha pride? Is it the puff-your-chest-out bravado and loud boastfulness by which Nigerians have come to be known? Is it the public machismo and courtesy towards women with which some Latino men have become associated? Or is it a belief in one's self-an unwillingness to compromise one's values or stature for an expedient alternative. In short, we do not sell out. This is what I was brought up to believe. This is a process I have observed and displayed first hand. From the wife unwilling to take back the cheating but apologetic husband she loves, to the proud bole lij (kid) whose family's fortunes have declined over time but he still refuses to take a menial job to pay the bills-instead expecting others (friends, family, side-hustles) to bail him out, abesha pride rears its unremitting head everywhere.

      Have I demonstrated Abesha pride-sure? Even though I only spent my first 11 months of life in Ethiopia, I was brought up to be stubborn. Rather than communicate, I have dropped girls I really liked because I thought they came at me funny. I have lost friends due to similar issues. Was I right? I dunno. Probably not, but I could not have lived with myself any other way.

      A while ago, I had an amusing swap of sorts. I had just come back from a visit to Ethiopia and met a cool girl. She and I exchanged info since she'd be back in the States too. We never connected, though I cannot say I was heartbroken because I didn't really know her well from our few interactions. Anyway, during that same year, the girl I first dated, who had been married, gets separated from her husband. No big deal right-well he ends up dating the girl from Ethiopia. The kicker is her family is well off. For years, I just thought it was about the money till I ended up getting to know my 1^st crush better-she made me miserable-jealous, insecure, petty. However bad, I found out later that through his marriage, he was able to get his green card. While I understood the obvious incentive, I couldn't reconcile it with the notion of Abesha pride. How could he marry someone he didn't like just for a green card? Wouldn't Article 14 of the Abesha pride doctrine state that "individual happiness supersedes secure residency status in America"?

      This brings me to Ethiopia. All the ghostfaces (white folks) in positions of power and dominating the economic landscape disturb me. Even if you account for corrupt officials and homegrown wealthy folks, do you really think that the fraction is the same as 16 years ago? It was made clear to me that the current construction boom isn't targeted towards a burgeoning middle class or returning soldiers (i.e. the US's postwar construction boom to help returning soldiers from WWII). Instead, these new developments and even built homes are meant to attract foreign NGO employees and their accompanying dollars. It's gentrification Abesha-style. I am shocked by this process that openly favors foreigners. It's not reconcilable with the values I thought were inherent to being Abesha. Neglecting large segments of the population and accommodating the whimsical wishes of those not even vested in your outcomes is not only contrary to wise economic and political policy; it goes against Abesha pride. Since when is working with Abeshas not worth a few extra birr? In the 1960's and 1970's, people like my father eschewed higher paying jobs with the US government and the UN to build a better Ethiopia. Was he stupid? Have times changed--is there a lesser interest in building a better Ethiopia? Or have people changed-is there a greater interest in individual fortunes than national ones? 

      But I think it has finally hit me. Earlier I said Abesha pride involved an unwillingness to compromise one's values or stature for an expedient alternative. Maybe those values have changed. Maybe individual economic fortune after 17 years of socialist/communist/dictatorial rule and 16 years of controlled economic progress under one dominant party's rule has changed these values. Maybe I was wrong for the last 30 years. Either way, another group of whites just sat in front of me. I need another glass of this Lime with Ginger Drink.